Well, I can’t say I expected to be sitting on my couch at home, still pregnant, blogging on the day I hit 40 weeks. But, here I am!
Logan came right on time though, just a day early – so I suppose this isn’t exactly unprecedented BUT I did hope that this guy would make a tiny bit early or on time appearance too.
Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows what the last few weeks are like. I’m a walking ball of hormones and I have to pee every 25 minutes. I cry at the drop of a hat. One minute I am feeling happy and upbeat, the next minute it’s possible I could punch a stranger just for walking by me. (Not really…) The last little bit is a rough time – so close, but no way to predict when the baby is coming. And because due dates are big, huge estimates they could be off by several weeks either way! Talk about needing to come face to face with a little thing called patience.
I have decided to try and avoid induction at all costs unless there is some danger to the baby (low fluids or something). I have done a lot of reading up on this, and there are some pretty big risks associated with it before 41 weeks so I’m not going to play with fire and pray that this guy DOES come on his own. Let’s hope he is ready to do that sometime very soon.
So – here starts the waiting game. Before it was counting up – 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 32 weeks…and then back down again…8 weeks left, 6 weeks left, 2 weeks left, 2 days left…the count begins again. 1 day late, 2 days late, 3 days… What a crazy roller coaster ride!
Yesterday Todd prayed with me, and he prayed that I would be able to remain close to God during this time. At first my defenses sort of flared up in a hormonal way. I thought, “What the heck does THAT mean?” But as I’ve been going through the ups and downs, the feelings of contentment, frustration, peace and anger I realized that now IS a good time to lean on God and trust that His plan for bringing Beckett into the world is the right one. No doctor, drug or at home induction technique will work better than that – even if God’s plan ends up incorporating some of the above methods in the end.
It’s interesting to think about my final days of pregnancy as a way to grow closer to God, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to focus on that because I’m so tired of carrying around this pregnant belly. I haven’t felt like myself for almost the entire first year of our marriage and at times that’s a hard pill to swallow. It has made for some tense internal dialogue over the past few days. I think in order to not harm those I love I will need to get very, very good at deep breathing and prayers to God for peace and comfort.
So – if you’re a Mom who made it this far or farther with your babies…give me some advice and words of encouragement. Make me laugh. I’ll love you forever!!
Disclaimer: The above pregnant lady is not me. And we do not have a nursery with Jonah on the wall. But I MAY be forced to serve an eviction notice quite soon. 🙂