A Lesson in Waiting!


Well, I can’t say I expected to be sitting on my couch at home, still pregnant, blogging on the day I hit 40 weeks. But, here I am!

Logan came right on time though, just a day early – so I suppose this isn’t exactly unprecedented BUT I did hope that this guy would make a tiny bit early or on time appearance too.

Any woman who has ever been pregnant knows what the last few weeks are like. I’m a walking ball of hormones and I have to pee every 25 minutes. I cry at the drop of a hat. One minute I am feeling happy and upbeat, the next minute it’s possible I could punch a stranger just for walking by me. (Not really…) The last little bit is a rough time – so close, but no way to predict when the baby is coming. And because due dates are big, huge estimates they could be off by several weeks either way! Talk about needing to come face to face with a little thing called patience.

I have decided to try and avoid induction at all costs unless there is some danger to the baby (low fluids or something). I have done a lot of reading up on this, and there are some pretty big risks associated with it before 41 weeks so I’m not going to play with fire and pray that this guy DOES come on his own. Let’s hope he is ready to do that sometime very soon.

So – here starts the waiting game. Before it was counting up – 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 32 weeks…and then back down again…8 weeks left, 6 weeks left, 2 weeks left, 2 days left…the count begins again. 1 day late, 2 days late, 3 days… What a crazy roller coaster ride!

Yesterday Todd prayed with me, and he prayed that I would be able to remain close to God during this time. At first my defenses sort of flared up in a hormonal way. I thought, “What the heck does THAT mean?” But as I’ve been going through the ups and downs, the feelings of contentment, frustration, peace and anger I realized that now IS a good time to lean on God and trust that His plan for bringing Beckett into the world is the right one. No doctor, drug or at home induction technique will work better than that – even if God’s plan ends up incorporating some of the above methods in the end.

It’s interesting to think about my final days of pregnancy as a way to grow closer to God, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to focus on that because I’m so tired of carrying around this pregnant belly. I haven’t felt like myself for almost the entire first year of our marriage and at times that’s a hard pill to swallow. It has made for some tense internal dialogue over the past few days. I think in order to not harm those I love I will need to get very, very good at deep breathing and prayers to God for peace and comfort.

So – if you’re a Mom who made it this far or farther with your babies…give me some advice and words of encouragement. Make me laugh. I’ll love you forever!!

Disclaimer: The above pregnant lady is not me. And we do not have a nursery with Jonah on the wall. But I MAY be forced to serve an eviction notice quite soon. šŸ™‚

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8 thoughts on “A Lesson in Waiting!”

  1. Praying for you and I can’t wait to meet Mr. Beckett (and you, face to face;) My oldest, was due on November 17th and finally decided to make her appearance on December 4th. My middlest, was due on the 1st of December and arrived on the 8th and finally, my little man, was suppose to be here on the 16th of January, and blessed us all on the 22nd. Trust me, when I say I know how hard it is to wait…and wait…and wait. I will continue to pray for you, Todd and little Mr.Come When I’m Good and Ready:)

  2. oh i so love that todd prayed that for you! made me cry

    now for the funny. both of my boys were 2 weeks late. caleb was due december 26th (merry durn christmas) and arrived january 8th (elvis’ birthday) those 2 weeks were the worst i’ve ever experienced. every day the phone rang (before texting) all day long. did you have the baby??? are you in labor??? really??? did people think i would just go off and have this baby without letting them know!! sheesh! and forget going out in public. “oh my you are huge!” what every woman wants to hear. and i was puffy and had horrible indigestion. then mikey. after being 10 days over due and one false trip to the hospital, they did a ultrasound and saw my amniotic fluid was low so they said they were going to induce. not really wanting to do that but i was afraid for the baby. i got to spend 12 hours with 16 of my best friends watching my contractions on the monitor in the hospital. it was actually kinda fun to have people there. but has hard as it was to wait, you do forget all that and just revel in the wonderfulness that is your baby! can NOT wait to meet Beckett!!!!!

  3. I know what you mean about the phone calls…my favorites were the people who’d call and when I answered they say, “Are you STILL home?” (Ummm, OBVIOUSLY since I ANSWERED THE PHONE!!) With Isabella I was so big I frightened people (possibly because I found out I was pregnant on Cassie’s first b-day…maybe my tummy (and body) had NO chance to recover, but I remember people literally backing away. Nice. I have a recipe for a spaghetti sauce which has never been known to fail….well Ok, once here in Florida but never in California. But…you have to have reached the point where the doctor says, “Well….I’ll make you an APPOINTMENT for next week…but I know I won’t see you…you’ll go before then.” SO…if you’ve REACHED that point…msg me…and I’ll send you the recipe!! love and prayers, coming your way. ā¤

  4. You can do it Miranda! Cherish it because when it’s done you will miss it. And even though it seems so hard now you’ll back and not even remember being pregnant. I held on to my triplets for 33 weeks and thought I could never forget what it felt like but I did. Lots of prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy little one!

  5. First of all, you are in my thoughts and prayer sister!!!! Second, if it makes you feel any better, even ever-so-slightly, my mom’s due date for me was February 1st. My birthday is February 27th. My mom’s doc insisted her dates were off, even though she BEGGED to be induced, c-section anything. When I was born 26 days after my due date weighing 11 lb’s 2 oz’s, the doctor looked at my mom, and said, “I guess you were right.”. She had to refrain from punching him in the throat.

  6. Oh my gosh, my first two were so late they never would come until they finally induced me. I’m pretty sure I’d still be pregnant with them if they hadn’t. šŸ˜‰ In fact, if I remember correctly, my induction involved a crow bar and a tow truck. šŸ™‚ I totally feel your pain at the waiting game. I wish I had words of wisdom or comfort or even something to make you laugh, but lets face it, it’s a stinky time physically and mentally the waiting is agony. Just try to cherish him moving around in your belly that will be gone before you know it even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Focus on the quiet that is now because so very soon it will all become a whirlwind. Give Logan a little extra time and attention while you can. And smile when you remember that Beckett’s birthday is already written in the stars. Best of luck on a smooth labor and beautiful birth. ā¤

  7. Well, with my firstborn, I was 6 days overdue and let me tell you there is nothing worse than going over so I feel for you! (Okay, that was a complete lie! But since I appear to be the only one with zero experience, I thought I’d make something up!) šŸ™‚

    Now, in all truthfulness, as someone who has battled and (almost) won infertility, know that being pregnant is a treasure that not everyone can experience….In these last few days….hours…..trying to be optimistic, ask God for guidance in praying for those women who are still and who may forever be on the other side of the pregnant fence.

    So excited to meet this little man!!!

  8. It was during the final days of my first pregnancy when I first began to understand the atonement. Knowing that the Savior knew what I was going through and that he had gone through so much more gave me a bit more patience. I hope he comes soon!

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