Oh Baby Baby…

I think most of you know by now that my first pregnancy was pretty difficult emotionally. I was young, naive, unmarried and a little lot depressed. I ate my feelings. In the form of McDonald’s cheeseburger value meals. A lot of them.

It probably contributed to my 80+ lb weight gain. I was scared, lonely, ashamed and sad for most of those 9 months and I refused to let one single picture be taken. Actually, I think someone sneakily snapped a pic of me at my shower but just one.

Logan was born on January 1st – and we got a nice little write up and picture in the local paper celebrating the first New Years baby of the county. I remember seeing the picture a few days later and asking, “HA! I don’t really look like that, do I?” The room fell silent. I heard crickets chirping…and I realized juuuust how big and bloated I had gotten.

That’s why for this pregnancy I refuse to feel that way. Even though there are MANY times I feel fat and bloated and enormous, I do my best to dress cute and pretend I enjoy the weeble wobble look. I know there is so much happiness that will be surrounding the birth of this baby. I try hard not to feel ugly and instead to celebrate this apparently not so tiny miracle growing inside of me.

With just about 8 weeks left, it still seems completely unreal that I will be a Mom for a second time. I have moments of absolute fear and terror and moments of calm and confidence. I’ve done it before, and I can do it again…I hope!

So, in celebration of this little guy currently rolling and tumbling around inside of me, some updates for you!

How far along: 31 weeks, 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Well, my midwife isn’t yelling at me…yet!
Maternity clothes: Oh yeah.  I have found that I can still wear a lot of my pre pregnancy shirts, layered with tanks so that’s been nice.  A few of my summer dresses and skirts work too so I should be good if it warms up before May!
Sleep: Not so great.  I’m surprised Todd hasn’t kicked me out of bed with all the tossing, turning and heavy sighing I’ve been doing.  Add to that at least 47 trips to the bathroom every night, and I should probably give him a medal for not booting me out.  The body pillow does help some, and I MAY or MAY NOT BE using a little Tylenol PM to help also…
Best moment this week:  Beckett kicks every time Todd preaches.  It has happened every Sunday without fail for probably the last 8 weeks or so.  I have really come to love this moment during his sermons.  It’s as if Beckett hears his Daddy’s voice and wants to play!
Movement: Oh yeah.  It’s crazy town in there.  Like an alien has invaded.
Cravings: No real cravings these days.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Nope.  Lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, but those have been going on for months.  They are getting more uncomfortable, but still nothing out of the ordinary.
Belly Button in our out? Kinda halfway, oddly
What I miss: Bending over.  Painting my toenails.  Actually being able to buckle my shoes.  Being able to walk without a waddle.
What am I looking forward to? May.  Definitely.
Milestones: I guess being able to start the countdown with single digits…9 weeks, 8 weeks…  Seems crazy!


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