RIP SSB

Who can tell me what “SSB” refers to? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

(Cue Jeopardy music…)

“WHAT IS…Secret Single Behavior, Alex Miranda?”

Ding ding ding!

Today’s blog is dedicated to my secret single behavior that has been (mostly) put to rest now that I share a house with someone other than my son. So what is it? It’s what you do when you are blissfully, completely alone and no one can judge you.

I’ve already divulged in a previous blog my affinity for dancing around the house and belting show tunes or pop songs at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I can get away with this for brief moments now, but the days of (cough, cough) semi choreographed musical routines are long gone.

Before Todd I would…

Get sucked into Lifetime movie marathons and spend the day in my pj’s, crying my eyes out at the tragic stories of the Lifetime characters.

Let half my bed serve as storage for clothes, my laptop, my purse…who knows. Whatever landed there during the day got shoved aside to make room when it was bedtime.

(Disclaimer: Not my bed. I promise I don’t sleep with a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. But hey, if you do – no judgment here)

Yell at the TV. In fact, when the Grey’s Anatomy season finale ended awhile back – you know the one…the BIG DRAMATIC ONE that had fans freaking out, I was alone in my living room yelling and shrieking and looking around in hopes that SOMEONE would appear so I could YELL AND SHRIEK with them.

Eat Cheez Its and Diet Dr. Pepper for dinner. I did this one a lot. I would still do it if Todd didn’t cook such awesome meals!

Push large pieces of furniture in front of the door so that if someone were to try to get in, I’d hear the noise and wake up. Also if you are a burglar reading this right now and thinking that we don’t do this, WE DO. WE TOTALLY DO and I will karate chop you if you try to break in. I have skills…like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills…

Talk to friends on the phone and move about the house at breakneck speed, gesturing wildly and being incredibly dramatic.

Change my hair color constantly. I haven’t done this in ages – if you have ever dyed your hair from a box at home you know that it’s messy and ridiculous and a completely gross smelling process. I just haven’t been able to convince myself to subject Todd to this yet.

In addition to the hair color changing I can add hair cutting to my list of SSB. I used to hardly ever think twice about grabbing a pair of scissors (gasp, shock, horror) and start hacking away at stuff. It’s easier to pretend you aren’t completely devastated by the choppy results though if you live alone. I couldn’t answer to Todd looking like this and pretend I was fine:

So, don’t be shy…what are yours?