Banana, I hate you


I hate bananas. Yeah, I really do. I try to like them, because I know they’re all healthy and stuff but they are hands down THE most annoying fruit.

Just to prove to you that I actually do try to like bananas, let me show you a picture of some that I have in my house RIGHT THIS SECOND:
bananas
You know what makes me maddest?  I just bought these stupid bananas TWO days ago.  TWO!  And look how spotty and brown and mushy they are ALREADY.  What a crock.  Bananas have the grossest texture of almost any food without even trying hard…When you eat one, you have to navigate around a clammy and rubbery peel, a grainy and mushy texture and those weird stringy things…but add some brown spots and they get even grosser.   And…if you look closely, you can see that one of those bananas is so soft and mushy it fell RIGHT OFF IT’S STEM THINGY! 

If I were Chiquita, I think I would demand that bananas not advertise me.  Chiquita should be embarrassed.  I know that produce has a short shelf life, but if I’m going to drop some cash on a banana or 4, they have to last more than 2 days.  What, am I supposed to eat bananas for breakfast, lunch and dinner to try to use them up before they go bad? 

It’s a good thing I can buy 4 bananas at Trader Joe’s for less than a buck, otherwise I might be even more upset than I am right now.  This is a hard learned lesson for me – it happens every time I buy bananas, yet I still give those suckers the benefit of the doubt.  That’ll teach me.

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1 thought on “Banana, I hate you”

  1. OH MY GOSH!!! ROFL!!! Hands down THE funniest post ever! I soooo totally related! As a child I hated bananas because they have a funky texture that was always kinda gaggy. If they’re too green then they’re hard. If they’re too ripe then they are too mushy. Each time I’ve been pregnant the ole banana has been my nemesis. It’s touch and go man! Touch and go!…. and yet… I still try them too. What the heck?

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