Air Conditioning, you are my nemesis, yet I know not why.

I don’t know why I hate air conditioning so much.  I am a born and bred Vermonter, who lived through 25 years of ice storms, endless winters, and sub zero temperatures.  I used to be adept at layering with thermal pj’s underneath my clothes, with wool socks and sweaters, and knowing just how long I could be outside before my nose hair froze.  (Not long, by the way)  And while I hated every single second of cold weather, I still lived through it and now reside in the happily comfortable climate of North Carolina.  Seeing as how I grew up in the North where temps were much colder, one might deduce that the heat of the South would be an awful, horrible thing to deal with and that I might actually welcome some air conditioning into my life. 

But I still hate air conditioning.  Sure, there are the occasional times that I enjoy it.  Definitely, some days in the South are too hot NOT to use it.  And since it stopped working in my car months ago, I have often wished to have it while I was stuck in traffic without even a breeze to cool me down.  Most of the time though, I have such a strong aversion to it, I wonder if I wasn’t tortured by an air conditioning unit as a young teenager living in the downtrodden, grunge filled neighborhoods of Georgia, Vermont.  Ok…perhaps not.

Let’s take today for example.  I’m sitting in my house with a sweater on.  A sweater.  Ok, it IS becoming more and more like fall out there – but even so, today is resting at a beautiful 83 degrees.  I laid down on the couch to take a snooze, but found that I couldn’t fall asleep because I was too warm.  So I sat up and moved around a bit, then laid back down.  Please note that I did not remove the sweater, turn on the ceiling fan OR the air conditioning.  I just wiggled around and tried to settle back into a happy little nap.  No go.  So then I decided I was going to get back online and do a little more research, emailing, facebooking…you know, because I can.  So I sit up, pull my laptop onto my lap and start surfing the web.  The laptop is hot though, and it’s not helping my body temperature get any lower.  So now I’m wearing a sweater and holding a hot electronic device on my legs and the heat from the laptop is quickly seeping through the material of the skirt I’m wearing and scalding the skin on my legs.  Then my palms start to get sweaty.  Still, I do nothing in an attempt to cool off the temperature of the room.  No, I sit there and feel hot.  Then I get aggravated because it’s hard to type and use the fingertip mouse on your laptop when your hands are sweaty.  I try wiping my palms on my skirt.  I’m even starting to feel a little parched and thirsty.  It’s like the freakin Sahara Desert in here! 

Now I’m sitting on the couch, sweaty handed, hot legged, burning up in a sweater, feeling mad – and it dawns on me that it might be ok to turn on the a/c for a little while.  I keep it at around 76, so it’s not as if I’m going to freeze myself out of house and home.  And you know, the grandest part of being a grown up is that you control the thermostat yourself!  I mean, I’m paying the bills around here, if I want to turn my a/c on and then turn it off…well, I CAN!  So I did.  I also took off the sweater, by the way.

And yes, I’m a weird lady.

Also, I’m headed to the kitchen now to get myself a glass of ice water.  Whew.  What a day.  I hope that by extending the olive branch to air conditioning today, that soon a world will exist where a/c and I can get along and reside together without hatred or discord.


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