I started this blog on July 18th. By started I mean that I titled it. The rest has been blank and it stares at me in the draft section every time I open my page. I like the title. It rolls nicely off the tongue, doesn’t it? I’m not claiming to have any creative jeopardy on this title – it’s also generic and has undoubtedly been used a million times before. But I like the sound of it just the same.
Over the past few weeks I’ve been entrenched in the depths of some serious stress. Big decisions, little decisions, decisions I don’t even care about – there have been lots of decisions. What strikes me about life is how insignificant most of it is. Ok, before you delete me from your friends list, or glare at your computer screen…hear me out. We spend so much of our time here worried, stressed, fearful, running, sad, unhappy, depressed…I know I don’t need to go on. You get me, right? And for what? What are we worried about? For most of us, we’re worried about the temporary pleasures and wants of this life. Are we worried with eternity? Are we scared about how we’re measuring up as Christ Followers? Do we stress about being broken hearted over what breaks the heart of God? Or do we worry about cars, about jobs, about money, about clothing? Relationships, vacations, friendships, social networking? Or maybe we spend our time being angry at the President, or slamming states that legalize things we don’t think God would approve of.
So much of what we worry about it SO insignificant, and yet so much of it seems necessary. We have to worry about money, because that’s what the world demands in order to live. Yet God assures us we’ll be provided for on a daily basis. That’s hard to swallow, isn’t it? Daily basis? Come on God, really? But what about my mortgage payment next month? Or the power bill that has to be paid in 10 days or Duke Energy is going to leave me in the dark…how can I put those worries aside and trust that YOU will provide for my needs on a daily basis?
And how can I stop worrying about tomorrow and start living for today, in the moment? I have this desperation inside of me crying out to live a life less ordinary. A life less mediocre. It screams at me every morning when my alarm goes off and I trudge to work. It shouts as I sit at my desk for 8 hours a day. It claws to get out when I meander around the grocery store and throws temper tantrums when I’m waiting in line at the DMV. It’s a constant balance – this being IN the world but not OF the world business. It’s crazy difficult.
There are a few lines from a song that inspire me on an almost daily basis. I try to make this part of my prayer as often as I can:
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Imagine what that would be like? To have eyes that are opened to things normally unseen…to love like we are loved, and to be broken hearted for what breaks the heart of God. The results would surely contribute to a life less ordinary. How could they not?